Apple Cider Vinegar

Not sure if I'm moving forward or backward
But I'm starting to see things in me
That look like what it means to grow
It hurts it feels bad and no not in the romantic way
There's nothing beautiful about crying
It just makes you feel alone
But I'll find some way to not feel so cold in this state
I really hope that you can relate
Because when I loose that then on that day
I will really know what it means to be alone
Yeah until the day you tell me that you don't love me
Like you used to
I'll still find some speck of beauty in it
Some speck
Of beauty in it

I'm feeling like trying something new
Because letting myself go is what lead to you
And I started making friends again
And I might not see them after this year again
But at least I learned how to connect
Or at least I'm learning
And trying to grow
But I know I can't do this alone
Because everything I learned is from seeing myself fuck up
And hurting someone that I love
But if I end up alone
And can't love anyone
Then I'll slowly fall back to my nest
And I'll forget all these knots
How they strangled my chest
And I will be ready to die alone, yeah
I will be ready for anything
I'll be ready for anything
Numb to fucking everything
Ready to die alone

But don't let me live that way
Don't let me die like that separate and ready
As long as you hold me close
In the physical way or just let me know that you
Are thinking of me
You know that I'm thinking of you
And if you don't
Well I'm telling you now that I haven't stopped in months
I'm not trying to put up a front
Because now I know that just makes everything worse
And I need you to know how I feel
And I am ready to be vulnerable
Or at least I've already let myself be
Please tell me you still want to raise a dog with me
Please tell me you still want to raise a dog with me