Ready

I'll work, a prayer, endless night
yeah, i need, a little darkness, to get me going
i want it urgent, like a knife huh
I'm red, exposed, the shadow, look deeper

I'm ready, to shine, the Armor of my own blood
not sacrifice
it's not sacrifice
the dialogue of the martyr makes me sick
and now, now

I've caught a current, now.
I'll try to tell the truth
sometimes, it tastes, like metal, sometimes
it's grotesque.
it's grotesque

the gutting is necessary, though.
flip-flop, gasping open, like a fish
allowing the self-wrestling
allowing everything,
drawn and quartered like a moth to the flame, and being fully

diversion, a distraction, a siren,
a false god, a catalyst, a good vein
it wants the sick, the saint, the glutton, the thief;
forgive me, the cut i make, i must,
I'll try, to be gentle as
we dance through
receiving, the gifts when they are wrapped, in black velvet
feel heavy, and hard,
what suffering, it's rent, it's salvation, fuck salvation

it's redemption

an exchange, of struggles for assets, and bright points, of faith
I've got faith.
I've got faith in nights

wasn't 'til i was on my back, struck down, by self,
that i could see the sky, filled with bright points of light,
for you, light, for you, light,
for you shouting, to the angel
"i will not let go until you bless me."
and throw another punch

it was not, until the shadow work
i stopped feeling my own darkness long enough to know that
as ferocious as that is i got love.
i got love on my side, i do

i shall create. but not a note, a whole. but not an overture

desecration. i know that place.
that line of bloom, vacuum so well
rapacious, rapacious, devastating, weakness.
We need a fondness for devastation,
I'm saying, "no good can come of this."
and i love it

but I'm well trained in the shadow's high,
better now the destroyer's more secret
encoded in some Pollyanna bull shit
the creature that wants to be liked but never demands at what cost

i am sorry, i am sorry, i am sorry, i will not do it again,
I'm so full of it sometimes that i convince even myself
and this, is the most grotesque thing to eject the hardest torn
and flung out off like, like, like

instead, sitting still and waiting
until it creeps into your lap like a cat shadow you up power
i love you too, in a self-seeking way
and what other tools did you have then, and you used them all up
and this is the last to go baby, it's okay,
you did enough anyway, you're enough anyway

that is rust, you know it,
let the tempest god storms up enough courage
and love to grind me the truth from my own lips
I'm ready

I said, I'm ready, I'm ready, I'm ready