Vampire

Hold me closer
Wait until I break
I promise I was fine last week but now I am a mess
And I wish that I was better like the people on TV
They go outside and do shit and they don't have OCD
And I promise I was happy once or maybe I was not
Maybe I've been sad forever isn't that fucked up?
I can't say "oh I miss the times when everything was great"
'Cause there has never been a year when things were just okay
My brain is messy it's slathers slimy snot
I wish I had a scalpel so I could slice it all up
I'd sort it into pieces
The good and all the sad
I'd have like 20 perfect of things that aren't bad
And I think that I'm annoying or maybe I am not?
But everything I say sounds so fucking lost
I cling onto people with everything I got
Hoping they won't squish me like a tiny nasty bug
'Cause I lure people in with my patheticness
Then I run away 'cause I don't like myself
I go from being clingy to distant and it sucks
I wish that I was more than a little fucking bug
Hold my hand and then I'll go away
I sucked all of your lifestream out and now you can't escape
It's like I am a vampire
I feel like I'm a thief
I steal people's time because of all my needs
And I'm sorry I can't hear you when you tell me it's not real
You tell me that you have no problem being there for me
'Cause my mirror tells me differently
It tells me I am fucked
It tells me I'm manipulating all the ones I love
And I make myself available for everyone to use
And never actually tell anyone if I need them too
'Cause I'm better at just wanting things but never speaking up
'Cause then I can tell myself that it is all my fault

That I want all the things I could never get
That I want a little break from my sicky brain
That I need a little hug so I can disappear
I need a little hug to make me feel like I am here
'Cause I want all the things I could never get
That I want a little break from my sicky brain
That I need a little hug so I can disappear
I need a little hug to make me feel like I am here