Absence

it was only a dream I swear
it did not happen as they tell you
it was just a fantasy
I was not living in that moment

if what I feel is not what I feel
how can I ever know what's real
was I stillborn years ago
and is this absence all I'll know

I had thought that I could be
a part of something more then me
but now I finally understand
this wasn't meant to be

I must suffer this fate
let the chemicals dictate
the face that I show to the crowd
the only life that I'm allowed
to live is a lie
to live is to lie

suffocating in the absence of myself
heaven help me
heaven help me
if you hear me

you know I must suffer this fate