All The Men In My Life Keep Getting Killed By Candarian Demons

All the men in my life keep getting killed by Candarian Demons
"All the men in your life keep getting killed by Candarian Demons."
First there was Ed, a really nice guy.
Didn't talk too much but I didn't mind.
I was all set to marry him, but
before we could consummate Ed was killed by a Candarian Demon.
"Candarian Demon, Candarian Demon, Candarian Demon"
Then it was Daddy
"Daddy"
Who I could count on.
He loved to read the Necronomicon"
"Book of the Dead"
He also enjoyed playing board games.
But he can't sink my battleship now 'cause Dad was killed by a Candarian Demon.
"Candarian Demon, Candarian Demon, Candarian Demon"
They say love is cruel and I believe them, my heart's always broken.
'Cause the men in my life keep getting killed by Candarian Demons. Why?
I don't know.
Annie baby, I know it seems bad now: it always does!
But I think you're exaggerating a touch Sugar Bean
I mean, sure, your father and fiancé were killed by Candarian Demons,
but that's only two men, isn't it?
I mean there's no way that
ALL the men in your life could have been killed by Candarian Demons!
Oh, no? It was high school
"High School"
Senior prom.
"Oh yeah!"
Going with my steady Howie Brown.
"Howie Brown"
A perfect night
Howie Brown?
Like I always dreamed.
A little girl's dream...
But when "Stairway to Heaven" began
Howe was killed by (damn!) a Candarian Demon.
"Candarian Demon, Candarian Demon, Candarian Demon"
All my college boyfriends and my one-night stands!
My male co-workers and platonic gay friends.
"Hey!"
Every date I go on ends in demon bloodshed.
And now that I've met you two guys I know you'll soon be dead!
What the f--?
They say love is cruel (Shoop shoo-wa) and I believe them (Shoop shoo-wa),
my heart's always broken.
'Cause the men in my life—and I mean ALL the men (in my life)
EVERY single man!—in my life,
keeps getting killed by Candarian Demons!
Candarian Demons
Oo-ee-oo-oo!