Local Politician

Hi! Nice to meet you! I'm running for mayor
Born into money, I'm a millionaire
But I care about the poor, I really do care
Won't you vote for me?

Hey little guy, I'm just like you
Actually, I'm nothing like you
But I rely on people like you
To think I'm just like you

(That guy is a local politician)
(Lowering your taxes is his mission)
(He may not be the brightest, but he sure is the rightest)
(Who?)
(That guy, the local politician)

I like to party, I'm a ton of fun
I party more than anyone
Down at city hall I'll get things done
If I come in to work

What they say isn't true about me
It's a left-wing media conspiracy
My middle name is "allegedly"
'Cause nothing sticks to me

(That guy is a local politician)
(None of those claims have resulted in conviction)
(Gangs and booze and hookers and crack)
(He's a walkin' heart attack)
(Who?)
(That guy, the local politician)

(Fiscally responsible)
It's what the taxpayers want
(Morally reprehensible)
It's what the taxpayers want
It's what the taxpayers want
It's what the taxpayers want

(That guy is a local politician)
(His SUV has a high level of emission)
(He'll kiss your baby while he grabs your butt)
(Covered in powder from his doughnut)
(Who?)
(That guy, the local politician)
(That guy, the local politician)
(Who?)
This guy, the local politician

Can we just cut this ribbon and get out of here? I got places to be