nonchalant.

Nonchalant, not numb, I still feel it fucking all now
Smoke next to my gums, Imma put it in my lungs now
Near me is a gun, I might really need to calm down
I ain't seen the sun, I be sleeping when it comes out

Can't move on, I'm not ready
You got one shot, keep it steady
If you miss, you will not have a chance again
Don't look so but I am pissed, I don't think I can make amends

Keep on keeping on, heart so heavy
Hate been leaking on, it's so deadly
I don't wanna run for the rest of my life
Feeling like this isn't fun, made a mess of my life

I don't wanna know where I could be
I can never know where I would be
Till it's too late, only when I look back
I can really see the way that old me should of could act

Every time that I wake up, I wish I didn't
I know I should open up but Imma keep it hidden
You won't like what you see inside me
Will I ever learn how to keep it all behind me?

You say don't look at it like that
But I stay looking at it like that
Will it end? Should I really even fight back?
Don't like where I been, how the fuck I take my life back?

Keep on keeping on, heart so heavy
Hate been leaking on, it's so deadly
I don't wanna run for the rest of my life
Feeling like this isn't fun, made a mess of my life

I don't wanna know where I could be
I can never know where I would be
Till it's too late, only when I look back
I can really see the way that old me should of could act