Serious Steel

Oh, the bombs went up and the crunch came down
In the middle of the Pennsic War
It left us stranded in Coopers Field
Ten thousand souls or more
We had nothing with us but what we'd brought
Our cars and our camping gear
And our arms and armor, tools and skills
We'd worked on all that year

So dress your ranks, lift your pikes
Tight as the teeth of a comb
Rattling, clanking down the road
The War is going home

So a truce was called and a council held
And we argued all that night
Then we all set off in a caravan
By the early morning light
We had tipped our arrows and pikes with steel
And were armored, every one
Our swords and bows hung ready to hand
For the time of rattan was done

So dress your ranks, lift your pikes
Tight as the teeth of a comb
Rattling, clanking down the road
The War is going home

The very first town that we came to
We stopped for fuel and food
The gasman said he had none to sell
The cops were worse than rude
They drew their guns, we drew our bows
They fired--we won the day
For their backup radios all were dead
And shortly, so were they

So dress your ranks, lift your pikes
Tight as the teeth of a comb
Rattling, clanking down the road
The War is going home

The very next town that we came to
They had no fuel at all
The garage men said they could change our cars
To run on alcohol
But five thousand cars would take as long
As to grow a crop of grain
So we made a deal and moved on out
In a horse-drawn wagon train

So dress your ranks, lift your pikes
Tight as the teeth of a comb
Rattling, clanking down the road
The War is going home

The very third town that we came to
The rulers had gone mad
The cops tried to enslave us all
And steal what all we had
Our armor proved half-bulletproof
Our weapons worked as well
The townsfolk afterward thanked us all
For freeing them from hell

So dress your ranks, lift your pikes
Tight as the teeth of a comb
Rattling, clanking down the road
The War is going home

So town by town we worked our way
Just to take our people home
The legends that we left behind
It seems would rival Rome
For now the folk come seeking us
To take their troubles on
To be their teachers and champions
In a world where law is gone

So dress your ranks, lift your pikes
Tight as the teeth of a comb
Rattling, clanking down the road
The War is going home

How can we not take up the steel
For to serve our people's need?
How can we leave our land to fall
To any bandit's greed?
We have the skill to save our folk
From whatever evil thrives
And, admit the truth, this is the chance
We've hoped for all our lives

So dress your ranks, lift your pikes
Tight as the teeth of a comb
Rattling, clanking down the road
Dressed in leather and steel and woad
All too aware of history's load
The War is going home
The War is coming home!