Evil Fucking Wizard

There's an evil fuckin wizard
And he's givin' me some problems
'Cuz he's turning all my chicken
Into stupid little rocks
So I'm climbing up his tower
Where he's up there in the shower
And I'm punching evil wizard
In his tiny little cock
He's gonna pay for all my chickens
When I punch his fuckin' dick in
And he'll lose two generations
Of his evil wizard kids
Then I'll beat him with a hammer
In his evil wizard manor
Till he understands that he
Is just an evil wizard pig
I'm gonna shoot him with my handguns
With-a both my hands in tandem
Till he's dead and all his blood
Is all across the fuckin walls
Then I'll drag his lifelеss body
Down the stairs into the lobby
Wherе I'll pulverize his little fuckin' magic wizard balls
I'll remind him what I'm here for
When I take him to the pain store
And I buy him every single fuckin' item
That is there
And once that I'm the victor
I will take a little picture
And to Pinterest boards the pretty little image I will share
Evil! Fucking! Wizard!
Evil! Fucking! Wizard!
Evil! Fucking! Wizard!
Evil! Fucking! Wizard!

Now atop the evil tower
And the wizard will not cower
So I take a massive jab
At his tiny little dick
But the wizard he is ready
And because his hands are steady
He can cast an evil fireball
Like a fuckin prick
So I grab my trusty hammer
And into his head I slam 'er
And it brings about
A really bad cerebral hemorrhage
He his shaken to his core
And he topples to the floor
So I take advantage of this
Really awesome leverage
And I beat him till he's dead
And my hand are stained with red
Now I've killed the fuckin' wizard
Like an evil fuckin' villain
Then I put on his hat, I put on his robe
Now I'm thinking to myself
I think it's time
To do some killin'
So I fly into the town and I cast a fireball
And I kill so many people
That the kingdom it does fall
Then I fly back to my tower
With my magic wizard power
And I masturbate to wizard porn
For forty fuckin hours

Evil! Fucking! Wizard!
Evil! Fucking! Wizard!
Evil! Fucking! Wizard!
Evil! Fucking! Wizard!
There's an angry fuckin' peasant
And I've given him some issues
'Cuz I've turned all of his piggies
Into tiny little stones
And he's marching up my castle
Like a little fuckin' asshole
So I'm gonna have to break
All of his angry peasant bones
He wants to beat me with a shovel
But we're gonna have to tussle
And because that I'm a wizard
I will surely fucking win
'Cuz I'm gonna cast some spells
That will send him straight to hell
Like magic lightning to obliterate his brittle fucking shins
But now he's here and I'm not ready
And he brought a sharp machete
And he's lunging at me
With a certain look upon his eye
So I try to dodge this fucker
But he fools me like a sucker
And he stabs in such a way
I think that surely I will die
With my final dying breath
I look on over to my left
And I see that fucking peasant
Reaching for my wizard orb
And as he ponders it with wonder
I realize my fatal blunder
For the evil wizard cycle will repeat forevermore

Evil! Fucking! Wizard!
Evil! Fucking! Wizard!
Evil! Fucking! Wizard!
Evil! Fucking! Wizard!