Even If We Beg

Finally, I'm free to face this madness alone
Everything I resent can't help me understand this
Even if we fall into this madness alone
Don't assume I'm fine, unless you hear me say it

Open up

Open up
Get lost in the feeling
It's like everything drowns me out
Always fearing
What happens to us when we leave this place?
I haven't seen enough to be content or at peace

Send help someday
I have much farther to swim
And I'm still sinking under
While the current
It pulls and it drags me in

Living, breathing
An inescapable riptide feeling
Prelude to grieving
What has sealed the path to healing?

Can't you see that these roots will never mend?
No reprieve until the end
Even if we beg
Can't you see that the pain will never end
No reprieve if we're condemned
Even if we beg

Every day of every life
Anguish forms a larva
Truth triggered trauma
I see it in every scene:
A mothers love so sweet
Or roadkill on the street
Each looks the same to me

I only see my demise
Pictured inside my mind
Heaven knows it's my time
And I want to break from this grip
All I want is a taste of pure bliss
So I'll beg
On my knees
Such a sweet reverie
But it's taken from me
I'll just beg for my life
'Til it's taken from me
Even if we beg
It's just aimless descent
To more hopelessness

Finally, I'm free to face this madness alone
Everything I resent can't help me understand this
Even if we fall into this madness alone
Don't assume I'm fine, unless you hear me say it

Can't you see that these roots will never mend?
No reprieve until the end
Even if we beg
Can't you see that the pain will never end
No reprieve if we're condemned
Even if we beg

Even if we're dead

I ask how you tread in this water
"Burn my eyes out. Turn them straight towards the sun."
I ask God to grant me divine confidence
But there's no answer
Even if we beg