fish tank

I've been in the fish tank all week
You've been peering in at me
Showing off your accolades
Showing off your pretty teeth
Felt this sense of fuzziness
This sense I don't belong
This sense that everything I've done
Has been so bad and wrong
Feeling like a frantic kid
Who still fully believes in magic
Bookmaking manifestation
Checking spam notifications

When does the fog lift?
When does the trick end?
When do I stop feeling freakish in a room full of my closest friends?
When does the noise stop?
When do my eyes close?
When does the shoe drop?
When do I get home?

Growing out my fingernails
Biting back my teeth
I rid myself of all awareness
It's all keratin to me
Remembering how warm I felt
Curled up next to him
And how I didn't hate myself
The way I told myself I did

When does the fog lift?
When does the trick end?
When do I stop feeling freakish in a room full of my closest friends?
When does the noise stop?
When do my eyes close?
When does the shoe drop?
When do I get home?