When Velma Takes the Stand

Billy, I been thinkin' a lot about my trial
Could I show you what I thought I might do on the witness stand?
Oh, sure, sure. Go ahead
Good. Hit it!

Well, when I got on the stand
I thought I'd take a peek at the jury
And then cross my legs like this, you know
When Velma takes the stand

Then, when Harrison cross examines me
I thought I'd give 'im this
And then if he yells at me
I thought I'd tremble like this
"Ooh, ah, ooh ah!"
When Velma takes the stand

Look at little Vel
See her give 'em hell
Ain't she doin' grand?
She's got 'em eatin' out of the palm of her hand!

Then, I thought I'd let it all be too much for me
You know, like real dramatic
Then, I thought I'd get real thirsty and say
"Oh please, someone, could I have a glass of water?"
When Velma takes the stand

See that Kelly girl
Make that jury whirl
When she turns it on
She's gonna get 'em goin'
Until she's got 'em gone

Then, I thought I'd cry
Buckets
Only I don't have a handkerchief -
That's when I have to ask you for yours!
I really like that, don't you?
Oh, good!

Then, I thought I'd try to get up and walk -
Only I'm too weak, so I slump and I slump
And I slump and I slump and finally, I faint!

When she rolls her eyes
Watch her take the prize