Get Me to a Nunnery

If I'm Poirot tomorrow, then I'm Scooby-Doo today
(Not sorrow per se, computer okay)
A bewigged Samson soon to be a Hercules
(Non, Monsieur toupée, a tonsure? Touché)

I don't know how, how

I say
Get me to a nunnery
I say
Get me to a nunnery

My fuddy-duddy buddies haven't a clue what to say
(Tomorrow, today, maternal padre)
I shake my fists at the heavens, but then she messaged me
(In my dreams, I slay, priapic mayday)

I fell foul

I say
Get me to a nunnery
I say
Get me to a nunnery

How was your day? (I'm glad you asked)
Maybe I'll stay (I'm glad you askеd)
I miss our heyday (That's in the past)
Don't throw me away