A New Normal

I guess its hard to be honest
When I can't convince myself
There's any light in the distance
And the candles burning out
I saw the weight on my fathers shoulders
It was enough to bring him down
This was enough to bring us down
Close my eyes and try to fall asleep
But I can't focus on anything

Turn my phone away, I'm too afraid
Like bad news has a grudge with me
You always smiled like you couldn't feel it
You never wanted us to be scared

Sometimes I want to just tell you about my day
Talk about your life, all the things you planned
I'm just trying to find some normality
But I guess this is normal now

I wish you could know
I would have given anything just to take it all away
This whole year has felt like quicksand
The more I fight, the more I'm sinking in
But now it's calm
Everybody leaves their marks on us
All I hope is that it fades in time
I won't hold my breath, I won't hold it
But I'm still holding on
To everything you said to me
I won't let your voice fade

I sat down beside you
It was all I could do
And held your hand
You told me you loved me
I had to go home
I'd see you soon