Short Mort

Hey shorty
Hey shorty

He isn't very big, he's small in size
He isn't very smart but he sure is wise
He never gets in trouble 'cause he never gets caught
He can beat tall Paul, I'll take short Mort

Short Mort, short Mort
He's underneath the teacher's chair
Short Mort, short Mort
I can't get that short sport out of my head

He wears elevator shoes with a nine-inch sole
He still looks like he's standing in a hole
He blew out the can like just for kicks
This kid even makes Charlie Brown look sick

Short Mort, short Mort
I'm waiting for the guy's next shocker
Short Mort, short Mort
He won my heart when I found him in my locker

The girls all love him and I know why
Because he's so cute when he plays it cool and sly
He strolls into class, you should see the teachers' faces
When they see his big shoes and his ten shoe laces

Short Mort, short Mort
The little ladies' pride and joy
Short Mort, short Mort
He's a pint size all American boy
Short Mort
Ooh-ooh, short Mort
Mmm, I love him, short Mort