Devil Like Me

Gather 'round, my faithful council
I'm down bad with a case of the blues, see I just took an L
That's a tough look for Hell, old Lucifer don't like to lose

It was a haul back home from Georgia
Had my tail tucked 'tween my legs
I never been outfiddled, but I'm damn well sizzled
Man I went off like a powder king
I know smoke was all he wanted
Oh, he got it when he started to play
And I'd just struck a bet that I'd come to regret
Cause that mortal sure knew how to slay
Have you heard this one before
There's a twist to the story
His instrument wasn't no fiddle (What is this)
But he could make a man sing when he's playing that thing
And that thing was nothing I would call little (Holy fuck)
He said

I'm no more an angel, than I am any friend to thee
But I raise a hand to heaven
You ain't ever met a devil like me, yeehaw

Then I got to running like a hog for slaughter cut free
Till I stopped and thought hold on
He's not the devil, I'm me!
I said "Son, I'm the Dark Lord, are you some impostor"
He responded "Sorry, I just meant that I'ma monster"
Rumble time, bitch, click, click, boom, baddy
Papa Pocalypse
Call me that or Doom Daddy
Because when I'm dropping hits
Even the Earth will move
I've already put half the universe under my boot
He was hardly one to battle
Or I thought with all that prattle
Come to learn he could walk the talk (So hot)
From the barrel of his chest to the barrel of his best
Gun, every part of him was fully cocked
(Oh, God), he said

I'm no more an angel, than I am any friend to thee
Listen up, if you been sinnin
You don't simply get forgiven for free
I'll never be caught dead with a Halo
But I wanna see you on your knees
You can count me once Outdeviled, now I know how the Devil does it
And he'll never do it better than me

Now heed these words, all my dear demonkind
This Doom marine came in a tomby thing with a lock that we got to find

I've seen this man meet his maker
Yet he stands the test of time
A mean, green, lean protein, eating machine
So overpowered that he's nigh divine
Right in the face of danger did he place his wager
But it wasn't for a fiddle of gold
Now he sits on my throne
And he can call it his own
Cause that's what I bet against his soul (Goddamit!)
He said
I told you I'm good, better remember it well
I took your kingdom
But I can continue giving you Hell
Go tell your demons soon I'll meet 'em if we haven't before
Bye to the Devil you knew
Hi to the Devil you don't
Well, that's great, today's Satan's termination
Got my job usurped by my worst creation
A God-made man on a sacred campaign
Making work of Lucifer like he's playin' a game
Oh, how I've shamed myself letting him take my crown
What else to do, but remove my horns
Fuck it
I'm takin' 'em off, see they were fake after all
Cause I'm the Doom Marine of whom you've been warned
I said

I'm no more an angel, than I am any friend to thee
If it's heating up in Georgia
I'ma give the Devil more than just tea
I'll never be caught dead playin' the fiddle
But I fire up a BFG
You can count me once Outdeviled
Now I know how the Devil does it, and he'll never do it better than me
(better than me, better than me, never do it better than me)