There's Some Fear in Letting Go

Every minute feels like borrowed time
And i'm too focused on hearing the moments tick away
To do anything of note with what few seconds i have left
I keep trying to absolve myself of shame by saying that i tried
But god, did i?
Oh god, did i really ever try?

I want to go home, but home won't have me
I want a good life, but my mind won't let me
Every good moment in my life, i have forgotten
All i want is pain and loss and to finally let go
But god, will i?
Oh god, when will i finally let go?