More Than This

What did I expect?
I pushed back for a while
Cracked wide open, hoping that someone would notice
It looks easy, I know
But by now I expected to grow out of constant discomfort
To move on from the mindsets that fueled my teenage failures
It's the tag on the back of my neck
This is the third time this week I've woken up past sunset
It's the voice in my head
That tells me, "Everything is okay
Go back to bed"
This is the third time this year I've lost an old friend
It's the apology that I feel is best left unsaid
This isn't living anymore
This is floating in uncertainty
A vacuous mediocrity
A hope that no one else will see
What I, alone, have done to me
I'm over it
I'm over it
I deserve more than this
I'm over it