Living After Wishing

The last time that you called me on my cell phone mom you sounded really sad
I don't remember whether it was naughty brothers or it was my dad
I don't remember who you said was taking you to the next appointment
I just remember hearing you laugh at a joke he made like you enjoyed it
I don't remember if they ice your hands or your whole body
I don't remember the last time that I called you and you weren't feeling shoddy
It's hard to even know a time before your life became a triage tent
It's just hard to remember cause the world came out looking so different
I think you laughed a little less but maybe I'm not thinking long enough - ago
I wonder if it's sad that she is not the mother that your children know
Cause you are full of memories too many now to count and
Your life it is no tragedy though you found tragedies in great amount
Your life is no tragedy though you found tragedies in great amount
Most people don't think of their moms till they are old enough to take advice again
But I am sad I didn't think earlier on I want to be friends, your friend
And honestly times are so rough I don't know what to ask
I don't know where to find the stories even while you're on the other end
You ask me to come home and I say that I'm way too busy
I come home and ask you to talk but you can't talk today you're feeling dizzy
We argue about summer jobs and I don't tell you who it is I'm kissing
You know out of the five of us it's only me who knows what we'll be missing
Cause since I left the house I found out what my life's about
Growing up and histories and feeling things and living after wishing
Growing up and histories and feeling things and living after wishing