She's a Flaming Lesbian (And Way Too Cool for You)

She kissed him under the mulberry bush and she kissed him under the stars
She kissed him on his parents' couch and in the back seat of his car
She kissed him in the pouring rain even though they got so wet
But she was a flaming lesbian she just didn't know it yet

She looked in her teacher's pretty eyes and said "that's really cool"
This woman was the only reason the girl came to school
The girl figured that role models were supposed to be that hot
But she was a flaming lesbian who couldn't connect the dots

She said to her wife, do you have to dear/she cried to her wife every night
She asked if she'd made herself crystal clear, that she never wanted a wife
Her girl couldn't cry, she just hung her head, said that this was the best she could do
No it wasn't the plan but I'm just not a man, else I'd never do this, would you?

Yeah dance with hot girls go on fast tilt-a-whirls wear the prettiest stuff you can buy
Your wife is too straight for your ultimate date, so let's hope she finds a real nice guy
You can find some cute girls and hold their cute hands, and smile at each other a lot
Cause you are a flaming lesbian and sadly your ex-wife is not

They smiled at the sky and at all the fireflies like it would end up meaning something
But her heart was calm and still while he felt constant thrill, yeah his heart was steadily pumping
Boom boom boom! and his hand was inching up her thigh! what oh what, what oh what could she do?
She said "Dude I'm a flaming lesbian and way way too cool for you"