choke interlude

I can tell It's getting bad again
Because I was in the bath
When I thought
"What if I fell asleep and choked on the water
And they called it all an accident"

And so I picked up my phone to give you a call
Like I promised I would If it was getting all to much
And I thought, why does it matter anyway

Because I'm secluding myself from my body and the world
I hate being me, and I hate being a girl
Scrubbing my face to try to remove all my skin
But my pores fill up with foam
Wash, rinse, repeat again

I lay my hands out flat
Leave them in partial light
Water them twice a week, one morning, one night
Flowers bloom into my face
Crawl their way up my throat
And I pray that god will call you and let you know
He finally let me
Choke