Pink Carnations

I was in a car crash, it's not a hard luck story
On my back in the road with bits of me around
I thought "this is it - the big white turkey's coming for me"
I was ready for it, I'd always wondered what it would be like
In a war, in a smash
But there wasn't bloody anything
There were no visions, no revelations
Just like a really bad hangover

As it turned out, they picked me up and I pulled through
I broke the big one though
When I awoke I was in a white room with flowers
The new nurse came and changed the drip
But he did it wrong
And sprayed a fountain of blood onto the sheets
A fine spray like pink carnations
The other trouble was, no drink allowed
Now I like a drink as much as anyone

This old man in the next bed had both legs broken
And he used to dream about a long wooden bar
With a fine pint at the end
Shining like the holy grail
He'd try and get there
And fall out of bed and fuck up his legs
In the end they had to tie him to the bed

In the other bed
The old lady was nearly dead
She didn't talk much
On Sunday a movie star came to visit them all
This bald shithead with a teddy bear
"Tragic... touching"
Held the dying woman's hand and then pissed off
She told me about it that same night
"He held my hand
I could feel his strength
His loving strength flow into me
Making me well
He was so loving
He was a saint
Well she died of course.