Talking To The Stars

You don't know how low I've got
But just look at the home I bought
Always tryna show other people that I'm more than enough
Even though I'm about to blow my top
Working everyday tryna hold my spot
Got a lot of women saying "oh my God
Cause I'm riding round the city in a brand new Beamer
Tryna be somebody that I know I'm not

Even went and bought a couple gold chains
To show all the people I don't know I'm not a no name
And the love of my life wants me in the slow lane
Looked her in the face said no way
Fuck settling down I never knew how man
I been living life like I don't age
All the parties have cocaine
I'm doing my best not to go back to my old ways

But I been up for so long that it feels like it's still the same day
Hate being alone so I party with the people who feel the same way
Too many drinks now the whole room spinning
I don't even know if I'm with one or two women
I can feel my heart beats every few minutes
I think it's my heart's way of saying are you finished
Or are you finished?

Let me be real with you I don't think I love myself
I only feel like I'm enough when I'm someone to somebody else
Killing myself just to prove I have purpose
I'll show the receipts & the proof that I purchased
I'll do anything so the truth doesn't surface
That I'm doing the most cause I truly feel worthless
Damn

And honestly, that's an epiphany, if I ever heard one
But ima take another drink
Because everybody here keeps saying I deserve one
& she just put a drug in my mouth
Same one that she's putting onto her tounge
I'm putting it in song
Cause I don't want you to make the mistakes I don't learn from

I talk to the stars hoping there's one maybe I might reach
When I finally do I just hope that it Guides me to find my peace
I wanna know why I was put on this earth for
And as an artist why the fuck do I hurt more?
& will I miss this life when I'm gone?
Or will I feel like I finally belong?

Looking back at my life I feel like it's all I ever wanted
But after getting so many cold shoulders you turn cold hearted
& I'm Ice cold now like I'm sub zero
I don't want you to see me as some hero
Cause I'm just putting my flaws in the open
To show you you're not the only one broken