Shadow of Fear

If I knew then
what I know now
I wouldn't change a thing,
I'd still be scared as shit
If I had control I wouldn't live afraid
Spending my life
under a shadow of fear

Fearing who I really am
Why was I made this way
How do I live
Without the fear of ridicule
I live under a shadow of it

I didn't want this, I couldn't do shit
Look me in my eyes you son of a bitch
What do you want me to be
I'll melt myself down and fit into the mold

Fearing who I really am
Why can't I move on?
Why should I change the things that aren't wrong?
How do I live?
In this constant worry
That I'll fall apart and everything crumbles again

This shadow of fear consumes me
I can't stand this constant worry

How do I free myself from the past
I'd rather live life
keeping it under wraps
I wasn't in control
so I hope you're proud
I didn't want help
I couldn't fucking get out

How can I gain control?
How do I save myself
If I live like this I'll never know peace
Who do I lose?
Who do I lose?