working memory

I'm not one to talk a lot
I keep my head down
Fill in all the blank spaces
That come out my mouth
Tired of forgetting things
'Cause I let people down
This condition's not in remission
'Cause my head's in the ground

Even though I blank a lot
I try my best to say
All the things inside my chest
But something blocks my brain
I can't tell if it's anxiety
Or if it's some delay
Between the things that I wanna do
And the things that I wanna say

I don't trust a soul
'Cause I can't break the mold
The labels that they put on me
Will always have a hold
On my pathetic self-esteem
Wish I could just leave
Everything behind so I can
Fix this working memory

Why do I do this
To myself, I feel so clueless
Burning bridges that are useless to me
I'm blind to the future in front of me

Say something to me

Endless dysregulation
I'm not okay
I'm feeling sorry
What do you want me to say
Biting my nails
'Cause I need something to soothe
The formation of my internal noose
I could try again
Get out of bed
But I fear that nothing
Will ease this dread
Can't remember half the shit I said
So go away
I'm a fuck up 'til the end