Difficult 2 Love

My homie asked me how everything has been
& I wanna tell him but I don't know where to start
There's random days
I can physically feel my family fade
& It feels like it's tearing me apart
The love I have is a love I don't wanna lose
Cuz losing love be wearing out my heart
I tell my shorty
I'm sorry for all my stupid decisions She like Calen don't even start
All my life I just been difficult to love
& very easy to leave
It's hard to hide a broken heart when you bleeding outta your sleeve
& It's so dark inside my mind
I can't find a reason to breathe
Never satisfied with anything I achieve
Am I ambitious or ungrateful?
I've attempted to be faithful
But temptation is a bitch
That I done gave a couple facials in my past
If I can't have you baby this the only favor that I ask
Please don't ever let no other nigga
Change the way you laugh
Complications from miscommunications
Turned my relationships to trash
Shit changes in a flash
All my life I just been difficult to love
& Very easy to leave
It's hard to hide a broken heart
When you bleeding outta your sleeve
& It's so dark inside my mind
I can't find a reason to breathe
Never satisfied with anything I achieve
& I never been the best person or artist
But I've always worked my hardest
Patiently waiting on fruits of my labor
From all I harvest
Inside I've harbored a darkness
From times I was broken hearted
Was faded to fight the feeling
& feelings faded regardless
Got holes in all of my garments
& hoes inside apartment
The love that I had in store has departed
From all departments
I'm focused on what's important
& What's gon take me the farthest
So far from Good Charlotte
Whole heart inside the garbage
Cuz I'm difficult to love