Before I Self Destruct

I'm sorry that I'm a mess sometimes.
I wish that I could count every
time, I cried myself to sleep at night.
That just might be wishful thinking
I'm not sure it's worth the try this time.
I don't know if I'm alright
I still think about you all the time.
I just think it's best if we spent sometime with out me by your side.
I wish I could have your back, I wish I could hold your hand.
It's just so hard to swallow all these lies.
And for the first time,
I will dry my eyes and get some sleep in my own sheets.
I swear I'll be fine.