Heaves

I had to look around but I figured it out
Am I feeling regret or am I lying again?
I don't need explanations
You didn't need to call me
I appreciate the gesture
I wish I could have told you how it felt
But I don't feel much these days
And when I do it's all confused
And you don't need that shit
So I'll medicate as the noise escalates
And as my house collapses to the ground
The earth starts to shake
And then my mind becomes a canvas
As the ink spills on the ground
Because it's the worst thing that could happen
And it's happening right now
Between the cops
And the creeps
And the party
And the heaves
And the anxious piercing echo in our heads
That says we're fucked
And now I know more about myself
Than I ever wanted to know
So I'll medicate as the noise escalates
And as my house collapses to the ground
The earth rocks my fevered brain
I'll make sure you never find me