Disintegrated

It comes and it goes in waves
Bringing me down so I am digging my own grave
Endlessly staring at this lake
Now I believe this is about to break
And the whispers keep telling me to stay
To let it go and let it change
I cherished dreams but I have to go away
Before it's replacing reality
I can't find the silence in this mess
Somehow it's like it coalesced
I fall apart

Lately I've been thinking 'bout
Thinking 'bout my past
Remembering my memories
That I'm proud to have
But there is a pressure
Inside my head
That I can't control and it is trying to spread

I am better of alone
Seeing the reality now I should've known
Although it can save me from despair, I won't stop fighting to get there

I will fall off the edge
If I can't come up for air
And catch my breath
I feel like a ghost trapped in a spell
Drowning in the ocean it's a hell
Dead stars breaking time
Mountains impossible to climb

Lately I've been thinking 'bout
Thinking 'bout my past
Remembering my memories
That I'm proud to have
But there is a pressure
Inside my head
That I can't control and it is trying to spread

And as I disintegrated
Disintegrated
There is nothing left but a feeling I've underestimated
I've underestimated