ESC, ALT & F4

Alright fellas? Willie here
Just giving you a little bit of advice there for, y'know,
if you're upstairs watching,
specialist European videos shall we say, while wife's out at bingo
Always be careful in case she comes back home
Heed these words

Now lads, let me tell you some shortcuts
You can use on your PC for sure
F5: that refreshes, Control-C: that one copies
Well now let me tell you some more
There's a sequence of keys that'll help thee
'Cause it shuts down a window real quick
Which'll come in real handy when wife walks in't room
And you're watching your amature vids
Oh here we go, come on

Escape, alt and F4
When your missus walks through the door
When you've been watching those naughty films
That you don't want to watch anymore
Escape, alt and F4
When your missus walks through the door
When you've been browsing those rudey websites
That you don't want to browse anymore

I think you know where I'm going fellas
So it's Friday and the wife's gone down to Tescos
And you're sat on your own like a burke
So while wife's doing big shop, you're in bedroom with laptop
Viewing websites that are not safe for work
So you're browsing some saucy material
She's come back- there's a creak on the stairs
Now what did I tell you about what keys to press
Should the missus catch thee unawares?

Oh here we go, come on
Escape, alt and F4
When your missus walks through the door
When you've been watching those naughty films
That you don't want to watch anymore
Escape, alt and F4
When your missus walks through the door
When you've been browsing those rudey websites
That you don't want to browse anymore

Let's take it to the end guys
So in summary lads, use your discretion
So she don't get a nasty surprise
When wife returns early from bingo on Thursday
And you're there with your special AVIs (I think you know what I mean)
Just three keys is all you have to remember
It works on Explorer, or even Firefox
But you'll have to be fast when wife bursts in and finds thee
Surfing internet wearing nowt but you're socks

One last time, here we go!
Escape, alt and F4
When your missus walks through the door
When you've been watching those naughty films
That you don't want to watch anymore
Escape, alt and F4
When your missus walks through the door
When you've been browsing those rudey websites
When the wife comes home early she won't get a fright
Just press those three keys so there's no filth in sight
Escape, alt and F4
Right!