Nefastus

Eyes wide
Thoughts race back and forth in my mind
I've lied
To myself and those by my side
Now I'm
Stuck in the hell of my own mind
I'd like
To say I don't but I deserve this

Everything goes black
Memories pushed to the back
Numb my head so I don't recall any of this
A mess of a life, the times that I've tried
To pull myself out of the shift in the tide

I'm giving up, I've never been enough

So tell me I'm not the only one
So tell me I'm not the only one

So tell me that I'm not the only one
Fighting off their demons 'til they see the sun
First instinct is to turn and run
But the dye is cast and nothing can be done

Everything goes black
Memories come rushing back
Barrel to my head
I can't go on like this
Alone with my thoughts
I'm left here to rot
The slip of a finger and I fire the shot

Bathed in my own blood
Lying in the mud

Crashing down in front of me
All my dreams, my aspirations, who I thought I would be
And now I'm
Tortured by my fleeting sanity
Tie the noose now
Sweep my feet out
And watch me fucking swing