Long Ago (feat. Betsy Hammer, James Barbour & Allen Covert)

Let's go, benjamin.

You know, my mother doesn't like you very much.

You know, I don't like me very much either.

Nice playing with you, mini-shaq.

What the hell was she looking at me like that for?

How could they let that guy work with kids?

Giving me those nasty eyes.
I was being nice to her kid.

They should have locked him up for good.

At least she was looking at me.
That felt all right.

Why can't he just be like he used to be?

It all seems so long ago
Young and happy don't you know
Down by the creek I would show
Fireflies to that girl

But that was back when he was nice
Before my warm heart turned to ice
My sister's wig once had lice
But that was long ago

The schoolyard's where we were
The first time I kissed her
(Giggling heard)
He thought he got some tongue
But it was only retainer

Eleanor's bra is a trainer
Well, over there's my family home
And the woods we used to roam
The only time I had sex was on the phone
But that was long ago

I carved our names upon that tree
I loved him and he loved me
My darling wife was once a he
But that was long ago

He'd always whisper in my ear
But then I started drinking beer
My jewels got licked by six frisky deer
(Giggling heard)

Now he's just a loner and a liar
And my trailer's caught on fire
Fire?!