Weight In Gold

I'm sorry for the times I was so forlorn
Hiding in my room, losing all hope
Cynical in youth, basking into defeat
When I knew no one else would come and save me

Too scared to voice these thoughts
I'd feel a fool
Became recluse, residual
Naivety choked slow until I'm blue
There's nothing anybody else could do
Ebb away, soak in this pain
(Now I don't mind)
It's been the same routine

Day by day

Reflecting back, living with these ghosts
Yet learning lessons worth their weight in gold
Self realisation yet the self loathing
Holding out for a sign
Bring me back to the light

Mother don't be so hard on yourself
Feeling responsible, but you did your best
Father don't, let the guilt into your heart
I know it took a while
But I am glad you finally understand

People keep assuming I've found my feet
Fail to realise I'm still masking
Underneath
I'm not sure these scars will fade away
But I'm aiming to stay the same

Reflecting back, living with these ghosts
Yet learning lessons worth their weight in gold
Self realisation yet the self loathing
Holding out for a sign, bring me back to the light

Reflecting back, living with these ghosts
Yet learning lessons worth their weight in gold
Self realisation yet the self loathing
Holding out for a sign, bring me back to the light

Now that I'm older
Learning the ways of the world
Now that I'm wiser
Taming the chaos within myself

Leaving the past behind
Finding out how to move forward
Now I'm rebuilding
Possibilities opening the way

Reflecting back, living with these ghosts
Yet learning lessons worth their weight in gold
Self realisation yet the self loathing
Holding out for a sign, bring me back to the light

Bring me back to the light