i dont need you

Close my eyes
Hold my tongue
She is my only one

I lie awake at night trying to understand
I had to take a life to love you
Why fake a smile
Why take a hand that embraced a knife to say I love you
Awake at night trying to understand
Like if I play it right then maybe I could keep you
And baby maybe I could make a plan
But if you don't want me, maybe I don't need you

Maybe I don't, I don't
I don't need you
Maybe I don't, I don't
I don't need you
Maybe I don't, I don't
I don't need you
Maybe I don't, I don't
I don't, I don't

Dead in the middle of night
Distracted by
This creeping feeling maybe I'm not acting right
My head is riddled with lies
Belittling thoughts like
I am not fit to be loved
Or I shouldn't be here at all
So I walk out the door in the dark
And I stand in the street and I talk to the stars
First I took a look at the house for a moment to ponder
Then looked at my car
This asphalt is hard on my feet
The streetlight above is a spotlight on me
Here alone in the night I am free
I wonder if this is the way it should be
Inside of the house I had fled is a bed made for two where my lovely is sleeping
What do I want for myself
What if I wanted to leave
The guilt that would follow my wake is the weight of the sky that I stand underneath
I walk to the bed where she lied
I kiss her goodnight and I join her to sleep

Far from balanced these indulgences surrounding me
And the man I am is someone I'm not proud to be
I'm in love with you but struggle so to show you how
I am stuck in love and I can't seem to make it out
Far from balanced these indulgences surrounding me (drowning me)
And the man I am is someone I'm not proud to be
I'm in love with you but struggle so to show you how
I am stuck in love and I can't seem to make it out

I lie awake at night trying to understand
I had to take a life to love you
Why fake a smile
Why take a hand that embraced a knife to say I love you