Slower Than Christmas (Explicit)

Dysfunctional belles dysfunctional balls
The folks in my family they just beat all
They put me through hell when they deck the halls
They even send Santy Claus climbing up the walls

There's no day slower than Christmas to me
It seems to last half the year
It's supposed to be something sent straight from heaven
But it ain't to me it's the day of hell

Mama with her wreath daddy with his wrath
Granny eating with no teeth and my sisters mangy cats
A hundred ignorant cousins with their pointy headed hats
Have driven me as crazy as a hundred shit house rats