J.K. ROWLING APOLOGY TRACK (I'VE CHANGED MY WAYS!!)

But no one has yet been able to explain to me
Why there is such a clear correlation between
Pronoun declaration online
And, and unfeeling, uncaring, and bullying behavior
So here's an example of what I'm talking about
"As I kill TERFs with a left hook, now I feel worse"
"J.K., hope you fit in a hearse"
Well, it's hardly an old coward, is it?
Hardly an old coward, is it?
Hardly an old coward, is it?
I mean, I could forgive the misogyny and the lack of talent
If you could write some decent lyrics
And when Rowling posted a tweet about this rather cringe-making video
These are some of the responses she got from those
Who are apparently on the right side of history

On the right side of history?
Yeah, you're right, I just don't know what got into me
I really threatened a billionaire and I thought I'd get away with it?
I didn't think this through
Now I'm the enemy all of the British people
Who grew up and were raised by this woman
Y'all were right I should just back down
And let her decide where I urine
Ate that bitch up but now I'm living with remorse
I still can't believe I said I hoped she fit in a hearse

I bet Joanne knows what it's like to be trans
To have people base your worth on what they think is in your pants
I bet Joanne, yeah, she really understands
Why we kill our fucking selves, yeah, she really understands
Joanne knows what it's like to be trans in Alabama (Joanne)
Or to come out in your 50s and be totally abandoned (Joanne)
I'm so sorry
I see the error in my ways
Just kidding, fuck J.K

HAHAHAHA, got yo ass! I ain't sorry for nothin'!
If you can't tell the difference
Between a billionaire TERF promoting conversion therapy
And my silly song
Well, news flash, you're a fucking idiot!

J.K., I still hope you fit in a hearse
Or we can cremate your ass and you can fit in my purse
Okay, calm the fuck down, I hear you typing your responses
Don't get the wrong idea, she died of natural causes
Don't get the wrong idea, I didn't let that bitch get to me
But all you dumb ass transphobes you made a new fucking enemy
You thought part one was violent, well now I'm widening my barrel
And aiming on of all y'all who defended that bitch in her castle

Sinister, every time I open my mouth
Misgender doesn't effect me cuz I know what I'm about
Aggression is off the scale
I've never seen a movement like this
Billionaires fear me, bitches wanna be me
How you talking shit when you look like Waluigi?

Hands up to the skyline
You won't close our open door
We didn't make this a war
This door stays open
We won't suffer anymore
J.K., I still hope that you fit in a hearse
Don't know nothing bout the way you were
But I look at you today and I see her
Don't know nothing bout the way you'll be
But I won't let them take that chance away from me
So we stay alive

Phew, that's enough bullets and trans activism for one day
I'm just gonna go back to my evil lair
And you know, take it easy, plot my next attack
(Rowling said she could pay for a house)
(With the number of death threats she gets)
(and I'm guessing that would be)
Oh my god, SHUT UP!

I know Joanne knows what its like to be a victim
But she sent all of her fans after a hyperpop musician
I'm sure Joanne knows what its like to be afraid
Girl, all of us are, but its gonna be okay
(Joanne) It's gonna be okay
(Joanne) We're gonna be okay
(Joanne) It's gonna be okay
(Joanne) You're gonna be okay

It's gonna be okay
You're gonna be okay
We're gonna be okay
You're gonna be okay
Be okay, be okay, be okay
We're gonna be okay
Be okay, be okay, be okay
We're gonna be okay

Hands up to the skyline
You won't close our open door
We didn't make this a war
This door stays open
We won't suffer anymore
J.K., I still hope that you fit in a hearse
Don't know nothing bout the way you were
But I look at you today and I see her
J.K., I still hope that you fit in a hearse
Don't know nothing bout the way you'll be
But I won't let them take that chance away from me
So we stay alive

So we stay alive
So we stay alive
So we stay alive
So we stay alive
(Boy, you know I just can't leave)
(Boy, you know I just can't leave)
(Boy, you know...)