Disclosure

It won't let me forget that I'm a fucking mess
Holds all the cards with every edge
I swear it knows me more with every breath

I know myself less with each regret
Why do I still crave the end
I forgive myself
But I can't forget

I can't ignore this
I can't explain it
I can't avoid it
Fucking fading
It's moving faster
Not refraining
Afraid to say
It's past containing

I am not who I claimed to be
This addiction my enemy
You never knew who I was before
Wouldn't understand if I told you
Just not the same person you once knew
Repaying every debt inside my head
Forgive me but I cannot forget

It won't let me forget that I'm a fucking mess
Holds all the cards with every edge
I swear it knows me more with every breath

It's molding me, controlling me
Get away, get away, get away
I am so fucking weak
Leave me isolated
Six feet deep

I am not who I claimed to be
This addiction my enemy
You never knew who I was before
Wouldn't understand if I told you
Just not the same person you once knew
Repaying every debt inside my head
Forgive me but I cannot forget

Why
I don't try to control it or try to replace it
Why
I try to pray but this voice speaks hatred
Why
Do I need your validation
Why
I rely on a bottle to replace the failure

The pressure
Having my life judged and measured
I know it
I'm repulsive
I'm repulsive

Fuck