Pronoun

Self, dare you still breathe?
Knowing, showing, growing this will to deceive,
eyes burn holes through these walls,
these mirrors that stare bring knees to the floor,
person is what i am is what i abhor, no one wants my love, sliced wrists it would seem so practical defying odds of nature why save you all the pain?
I've tried to avoid me, but I always find myself
and if i cannot use me, I may as well throw me out,
this pronoun slices thin the skin of self esteem,
as i am wed to barrel in mouth, i take this self,
my finger was on the trigger and i came so close tonight, my dream is blood and pain, face down in mud in rain,
i soak the soil with stain,
i'm sure i'll dream it again and again,
the art of taking this self is far beyond eyes,
one with cold steel lay this self quietly to rest,
i die...