Bar Mitzvah Boy

[00:00.05] This is one that we don't play that much But, uh...
[00:03.88] But I figured it's fucking Jersey.
[00:05.84] I think you guys might enjoy this.
[00:07.02] So here we go.
[00:12.44] Thirteenth birthday
[00:21.80] People come from far away
[00:23.59] Aunts and uncles show up
[00:25.18] I brush my fro up
[00:27.23] Feeling skittish
[00:29.14] People speaking Yiddish
[00:31.02] Buy a freaky suit and tie
[00:32.61] Tailor's hanging on my thigh
[00:34.59] Practice for the whole year
[00:36.21] Paralyzed with fear
[00:38.13] Hebrew flash cards on my walls
[00:39.97] Voice is changing, dropped my balls
[00:41.56] Dad's mad at the cost
[00:43.22] Too bad Mom's the boss
[00:45.23] Grandmas are full of joy
[00:47.38] For the Bar Mitzvah boy
[00:50.40] (Bar Mitzvah boy)
[00:51.80] Bar Mitzvah boy
[00:54.03] (Bar Mitzvah boy)
[00:55.66] Bar Mitzvah boy
[00:57.87] (Bar Mitzvah boy)
[00:59.59] Bar Mitzvah boy
[01:01.63] (Bar Mitzvah boy)
[01:03.39] Okay, up on the podium
[01:05.28] I'm staring out at everyone
[01:07.37] Can't remember how it goes
[01:08.94] Whistle from my rabbi's nose
[01:10.63] Oh, man, this is it
[01:12.75] Make up some crazy shit
[01:14.68] Baruch atah, a cha-cha-cha
[01:16.06] Everybody says, "Good job"
[01:17.99] Now I'm done, sweet relief
[01:20.09] Lipstick on Mama's teeth
[01:21.63] Catholic friends all ask me this
[01:23.37] "What the fuck is a knish?"
[01:25.31] Kids are all coming in
[01:26.97] Checks and bonds and fountain pens
[01:28.78] Make a bank deposit
[01:30.61] Make out in the closet
[01:32.37] He's the Bar Mitzvah boy
[01:36.01] (Bar Mitzvah boy)
[01:37.25] Bar Mitzvah boy
[01:39.35] (Bar Mitzvah boy)
[01:41.05] Bar Mitzvah boy
[01:43.48] Bar Mitzvah boy
[01:45.08] Bar Mitzvah boy
[01:46.65] (Bar Mitzvah boy)
[01:48.77] The rabbi does the Electric Slide
[01:50.27] Grandma's ass is six feet wide
[01:52.49] Party music never stops
[01:54.33] All my friends drinking schnapps
[01:56.44] Boys are short, girls are tall
[01:57.79] Pass me the alcohol
[01:59.66] Chug as much as I can
[02:01.33] Vomit on the klezmer band
[02:02.97] Mom and Dad yell at me
[02:05.42] This strains my family
[02:06.76] But I'm a man, so I don't care
[02:08.81] Got my first mustache hair
[02:10.68] I'm the Bar Mitzvah boy
[02:14.04] (Bar Mitzvah boy)
[02:15.77] Bar Mitzvah boy
[02:17.07] (Bar Mitzvah boy)
[02:18.92] Bar Mitzvah boy
[02:20.79] (Bar Mitzvah boy)
[02:22.64] Bar Mitzvah boy
[02:25.13] (Bar Mitzvah boy)
[02:26.67] And it's the best day of my life
[02:28.93] Until three years later
[02:31.83] When my parents stop
[02:33.35] Making me go to temple
[02:38.43] Very nice, ladies and gentlemen. Thank you
[02:40.39]