Oh My Sweet Cantankerous Baby

Ticketed on a bus for Prague
Sideburn Sam at the wheel
I'm downin' breath mints and booze
Cut me out with boot and heel
You cut me out with boot and heel

There are no novels anymore, no great plays
There are just cocktail party lines
You ask me how I'm doin' babe
I'm liable to tell you just fine
I will tell you just fine

Oh my sweet cantankerous baby
Ooh oh oh oh, I don't need you to save me
Come back home
Oh please mama come home

There's plastic swords in my vodka
I throw them down on the bar
Miss Lucy pourin' the drinks tonight
She carries the keys to my car
She carries the keys to my car

Well, franks and beans and washing machines
I got a girl I never see
She don't call and she don't write
Make a fool out of me
She makes a monkey man out of me

And oh oh oh my sweet tempestuous baby
Ooh oh oh oh, I don't need you to save me
Come on home
Oh please mama come home

Disembark, disembark
She's leavin' me behind
I'd like to run my finger down her spine
If she'd just be so inclined
If she'd just be so inclined

The bus stops at Roy Rogers
Every goddamn time
I get some air, stretch out my legs
Roast beef special's just $2.99
Roast beef special's $2.99

And oh oh oh my sweet cantankerous baby
Oh oh oh, I don't need you to save me
Come on home
Oh please mama come home