Put Your Dog To Sleep

Well, kill your kids,
Take their lives
Spill your milkshake,
Divorce your wife,
Cancel third-party,
On your car,
Do a hundred thirty K's into a Jaguar,
Break your back in the spinal ward,
Shoot off your toes when you're bored,
Poke out your eyes and staple your knees and,
Wreck your heater when you freeze!

Put your dog to sleep,
Put your dog to sleep,
Put your dog to sleep,
Put your dog to sleep,
Why don't you put it to sleep?

Well, sharpen your pencil,
Then use a pen,
If you're Thompson then call yourself Len,
Shave your head, then ask for tips,
Grow a moustache then shave your lips,
If you're sick, go to a-bed,
Put your dog to sleep if you haven't yet,
Got one hair left? You should pluck it,
Put your finger in a socket and stand in a bucket!

Put your dog to sleep,
Put your dog to sleep,
Put your dog to sleep,
Put your dog to sleep,

Go to great lengths;
To stay celibate,
Go to the police;
Confess to rape,
When you've a cold,
Don't try and cure it,
Become a commo,
In Eastern Europe,
Try and prove Australia is a great nation,
Try and engage me in intelligent conversation,
Deny god,
Embrace fundamentalism,
Become a musician,
Join TISM.

Put your dog to sleep,
Put your dog to sleep,
Put your dog to sleep,
Put your dog to sleep,
Why don't you put it to sleep?
Oh, put your dog to sleep,