Legendary Heroes

Come with me! Take a walk!
No more eating people's chalk!
There's a kingdom full of magic that awaits us!
You and I may get beaten up and cry
And then eaten up and die
Given every living thing here hates us...
A heart and a song's all it takes to get along!
If it comes to blows we'll do a little acting!
With my grace, and your horrifying face
We can make it through this field of hopes and dreams!

This is dumb,
I feel lame,
I might die from all this shame...
There's a flutter-
In your heart?
More like my gizzard...
That sounds good, like a healthy gizzard should!
Who's the bozo in the hood?
Looks a little like a fluffy wizard!
Never fear! Though I seem-
Slightly odd, I'm on your team!
My name's Ralsei and I'm here to help you, heroes!
And now us three must face our destiny
Especially the prophecy
A team of hopes and dreams!

You can fight back beasts with this pencil! (Or fight a maths test...)
None will dare cross blades with this comb! (I'd rather die.)
I will use this scarf--it's prehensible!
How do these- get us home?

We 'oughta have a title that our enemies will fear!
Like "The Legendary Heroes' Gang of Fun"!
I'd rather be "The Sh*t Squad"-
Hey! That swear word's second tier!
Look, "The Fun Gang"'s dumb,
"The Sh*t Squad" stinks,
And who cares what the bad guys think?

Ho-ho-ho! Hee-hee-hee!
I'm the bad guy, that is me!
Smashing you into lots of splooshy blood!
Choose a part- make it mean!
For my "Thrash-Your-Butt" machine!
This is gonna be a giant piece of crud...
"Clowns" is kinda weak... What should you be dubbed?
How about "The Lancer Fan Club"?

Now I'm part of a team!
This has always been my dream!
No hard feelings about all that "splooshy blood" stuff...
None at all! But if I may have the call-
To request a very small favor-
Could you all please write in "fun gang?"
How 'bout no? Heck with that! Cause "The Sh*t Squad"'s where it's at!
Or if swearing gets you punished, "Lancer's Fan Club"!
Write a name, make it clear! (Censor out second tier!)
Fold it up, bring it here-
I'll pick one!
For our team of hopes... and dreams!