Bathroom

At my house it's almost like a horror movie
I'll get home from work and I come run in there
And I find that little half bathroom
That got all my good catalogs, and stuff and
I go run and sit down
And no sooner, my butt. Like I said, touch that toilet seat
And I hear, it starts down at the end of the hallway
It's this
(Shh Shh Shh shh shh shh shh)
(Cah Cah cah cah cah)
(Shh shh shh shh shh)
(Cah cah cah)
And I'm sitting there with my pants around my ankles
My eyes are darting
I try to control my breathing. Doing that
And at my house I have wood floors
And my daughter are never not wearing like this
Hard, plastic barbie clip clop shoes
Up and down my wood floors and I hear it coming
Is this, horrible, clip-clop clip-clop clip-clop clip-clop
And she is always singing something stupid all the time
And I hear her coming, she is singing:
Baby shark, doo doo-doo doo-doo doo baby
Shark, doo doo-doo doo-doo
And I'm sitting on the toilet trying not to get wraped and go
Daddy shark, doo doo-doo doo-doo
So anyways, I hear this clip-clop clip-clop, clip, clop
And it stops right in front of that bathroom door
And I get that piercing: Daddy?
Daddy are in their going potty because I have to go potty
Now I'm thinking, your dad just raced home from work
So he didn't go to bathroom in his car
And then have to burn on the side of the road somewhere
And explain to your mom and the rest of us
Why we got to car shopping today
Cause you've all seen that, haven't you?
You be driving down the road sir
You'll come upon this car that's just all burnt out
It looks like a carbeque
And I think
was that a dude that did not make it home to his bathroom?
And just decided
I'm gonna spare myself the embarrassment; Torch this thing
So anyways, I make it home and I'm sitting there
And I get this: Daddy, I have to go potty
And I am thinking, there are two other bathrooms in this house
You can't go to one of them?
But people, I was quiet
I thought if I can be quiet enough
Maybe she'll just move on
And I can finish what I needed to start
So I'm sitting there, I don't hear anything for a minute
And I think I'm in the clear
And all the sudden though, I hear some rustling
And I look and hear underneath the gap
Underneath the bathroom door comes this plastic barbie head
Shoved underneath there
Head all caved in barbie looking like
(HUuuuuhh)
And I'm looking down at barbie thinking
Well don't you judge me, barbie
Yes barbie, you're living in a dream house
But I don't know if you know this barbie
But you are naked barbie
Watching a grown man going to the bathroom
And this is at the point where my daugther says:
Daddy, I am opening this bathroom door
And that is when I stuck my foot against the door and I say:
Do not open this bathroom door
Because I only enough money for therapy for barbie
Not you included