My Brother Makes The Noises For The Talkies

My brother makes the noises for the talkies,
There's not a single noise that he can't do:
If you've forgotten what a parrot's squawk is –
Our Rod can demonstrate that noise for you.
He does the steam escaping from liners leaving dock;
He'll fake a razor scraping or else a cuckoo clock.
My brother makes the noises for the talkies,
There's not a single noise that he can't do.

This is what I hear when I'm in bed –
A bang, a rattle, like thunder overhead,
The cat's miaow, and dog's bow-wow,
The only sleep I'll get is when I'm dead.
A shot goes crack: a gale starts blowing,
A duck goes quack, a cock starts crowing.
You might think I'm kidding you,
But what I say is true –
Just listen; I'll explain to you.

My brother makes the noises for the talkies,
There's not a single noise that he can't do:
I'm really not quite certain what a stork is –
But if it makes a noise, then Rod does too.
He makes the noise that steers make
When cowboys make a swoop:
He makes the noise that beards make
When used for straining soup.
My brother makes the noises for the talkies,
There's not a single noise that he can't do.

My brother can make any noise you wish:
Like two sealions shouting out for fish.
A horse's neigh, a donkey's bray,
He's even got a noise for Lilian Gish.
The only time he made a bungle
Was when a tiger in the jungle
With mighty roar dropped dead
With bullets in its head
And Rod moo'd like a cow instead.

My brother makes the noises for the talkies,
There's not a single noise that he can't do:
You'll know exactly what a popping cork is –
For Rod can pop a pretty cork for you.
He'll imitate a setter, a pheasant or a grouse –
But what is even better is his noise for Mickey Mouse.
My brother makes the noises for the talkies,
There's not a single noise that he can't do.