It Never Leaves [Explicit]
๐ต 3311 characters
โฑ๏ธ 9:09 duration
๐ ID: 16410749
๐ Lyrics
I woke up at 6:00 AM
I thought I saw you
In the corner of my room
Took me a while to realize
That you weren't really there
My mind thinks you'll come back
And I'd better be prepared
Putting a foot on the floor
I haven't cleaned my room
Layers of trash and mold
I can hardly walk
Poured water in a kettle
Antidepressants and alcohol
Instant coffee and diet coke
All mixed up in my blood
What is left of me
If you already gnawed my soul?
I wish I could have talked to that kid
Who was so insecure
And tell him
"You don't deserve this"
I try my best to pass the time
I try to write but nothing comes out
And when it does in any way
It's in phrases that don't make sense
I keep reading everywhere
That this pain will never leave
She's here and here to stay
She's now a part of me
I can hardly step outside
I keep seeing you in the corner of my eye
You've got all the keys to ruin my life
Even more than you've already had
You've stolen my confidence
You've stolen my innocence
I like to think you did it by accident
What is left of me
If you already gnawed my soul?
I wish I could have talked to that kid
Who was so insecure
And tell him
"You don't deserve this"
I took a train and looked at the stops
And I saw the city you lived in
My vision tunneled, I lost my breath
A trimester of pain flashed back
Unbearable spasms of anguish are now routine
Panic attacks are happening daily
Alone on a mattress twitching in pain
Waiting for the breakdown to end
An hour dissociating in the shower
Trying to wash away the taste
Trying to wash away the scent
Of your cyprine still plastered in my mouth
Of your saliva stuck inside my throat
Trying to rip my skin off again
'cause I can still feel your hands
Grappling on my neck
And I scratch my skin
Again and again
But it won't come off
What is left of me
If you already gnawed my soul?
I wish I could have talked to that kid
Who was so insecure
And tell him
Becca told me that it gets better
That the wound will seal after some time
But every time it seems over
It comes back and puts me down
Do You still talk to some of my friends?
And poison them with twisted claims?
Do you still tell them I'm a liar?
Did you really ever change
Sometimes I make noises
To silence the thoughts
I keep making excuses
So I hardly ever leave my home
You can keep denying it was rape
You can phrase it in other ways
In the end it's still the same
You stole my body and my innocence
When I walk down the avenue
Suddenly everyone looks like you
I collapse in the middle of the street
And choke in my own tears
I know you left a shirt at my place
And I can't even touch it
Becca wanted to set it ablaze
And I liked the idea
But I know it doesn't make sense
'cause you'll come back anyway
Either a thought or a pointless object
You never leave completely
Now, is the pain gonna leave?
I don't know, we will see
Will I still have nightmares in 10 years?
I try my best not to care
I'd rather live with the trauma
Than die with it unresolved
I'll pick myself up and clean my room
And find a way without you
I'll find a way out
I'll find a way out
I'll find a way out
I'm gonna try to move on
And call the ones I love
And if I have to listen to my own words
To convince myself
I'll do it again and again
I know it'll take time
But it'll leave after a while
I'll find a way out
A way out your hands
I thought I saw you
In the corner of my room
Took me a while to realize
That you weren't really there
My mind thinks you'll come back
And I'd better be prepared
Putting a foot on the floor
I haven't cleaned my room
Layers of trash and mold
I can hardly walk
Poured water in a kettle
Antidepressants and alcohol
Instant coffee and diet coke
All mixed up in my blood
What is left of me
If you already gnawed my soul?
I wish I could have talked to that kid
Who was so insecure
And tell him
"You don't deserve this"
I try my best to pass the time
I try to write but nothing comes out
And when it does in any way
It's in phrases that don't make sense
I keep reading everywhere
That this pain will never leave
She's here and here to stay
She's now a part of me
I can hardly step outside
I keep seeing you in the corner of my eye
You've got all the keys to ruin my life
Even more than you've already had
You've stolen my confidence
You've stolen my innocence
I like to think you did it by accident
What is left of me
If you already gnawed my soul?
I wish I could have talked to that kid
Who was so insecure
And tell him
"You don't deserve this"
I took a train and looked at the stops
And I saw the city you lived in
My vision tunneled, I lost my breath
A trimester of pain flashed back
Unbearable spasms of anguish are now routine
Panic attacks are happening daily
Alone on a mattress twitching in pain
Waiting for the breakdown to end
An hour dissociating in the shower
Trying to wash away the taste
Trying to wash away the scent
Of your cyprine still plastered in my mouth
Of your saliva stuck inside my throat
Trying to rip my skin off again
'cause I can still feel your hands
Grappling on my neck
And I scratch my skin
Again and again
But it won't come off
What is left of me
If you already gnawed my soul?
I wish I could have talked to that kid
Who was so insecure
And tell him
Becca told me that it gets better
That the wound will seal after some time
But every time it seems over
It comes back and puts me down
Do You still talk to some of my friends?
And poison them with twisted claims?
Do you still tell them I'm a liar?
Did you really ever change
Sometimes I make noises
To silence the thoughts
I keep making excuses
So I hardly ever leave my home
You can keep denying it was rape
You can phrase it in other ways
In the end it's still the same
You stole my body and my innocence
When I walk down the avenue
Suddenly everyone looks like you
I collapse in the middle of the street
And choke in my own tears
I know you left a shirt at my place
And I can't even touch it
Becca wanted to set it ablaze
And I liked the idea
But I know it doesn't make sense
'cause you'll come back anyway
Either a thought or a pointless object
You never leave completely
Now, is the pain gonna leave?
I don't know, we will see
Will I still have nightmares in 10 years?
I try my best not to care
I'd rather live with the trauma
Than die with it unresolved
I'll pick myself up and clean my room
And find a way without you
I'll find a way out
I'll find a way out
I'll find a way out
I'm gonna try to move on
And call the ones I love
And if I have to listen to my own words
To convince myself
I'll do it again and again
I know it'll take time
But it'll leave after a while
I'll find a way out
A way out your hands
โฑ๏ธ Synced Lyrics
[00:04.52] I woke up at 6:00 AM
[00:06.72] I thought I saw you
[00:09.97] In the corner of my room
[00:15.06] Took me a while to realize
[00:17.64] That you weren't really there
[00:19.96] My mind thinks you'll come back
[00:22.91] And I'd better be prepared
[00:25.66] Putting a foot on the floor
[00:28.08] I haven't cleaned my room
[00:31.36] Layers of trash and mold
[00:33.45] I can hardly walk
[00:36.13] Poured water in a kettle
[00:41.14] Antidepressants and alcohol
[00:46.40] Instant coffee and diet coke
[00:51.78] All mixed up in my blood
[00:56.94] What is left of me
[01:02.29] If you already gnawed my soul?
[01:07.43] I wish I could have talked to that kid
[01:12.59] Who was so insecure
[01:14.71] And tell him
[01:17.76] "You don't deserve this"
[01:59.45] I try my best to pass the time
[02:02.06] I try to write but nothing comes out
[02:04.82] And when it does in any way
[02:07.15] It's in phrases that don't make sense
[02:10.14] I keep reading everywhere
[02:12.22] That this pain will never leave
[02:14.44] She's here and here to stay
[02:17.30] She's now a part of me
[02:20.40] I can hardly step outside
[02:23.11] I keep seeing you in the corner of my eye
[02:26.12] You've got all the keys to ruin my life
[02:29.23] Even more than you've already had
[02:31.49] You've stolen my confidence
[02:33.68] You've stolen my innocence
[02:35.97] I like to think you did it by accident
[02:41.35] What is left of me
[02:46.50] If you already gnawed my soul?
[02:51.63] I wish I could have talked to that kid
[02:56.44] Who was so insecure
[02:58.96] And tell him
[03:02.19] "You don't deserve this"
[03:23.18] I took a train and looked at the stops
[03:25.60] And I saw the city you lived in
[03:28.09] My vision tunneled, I lost my breath
[03:30.96] A trimester of pain flashed back
[03:33.64] Unbearable spasms of anguish are now routine
[03:40.09] Panic attacks are happening daily
[03:44.79] Alone on a mattress twitching in pain
[03:48.83] Waiting for the breakdown to end
[03:54.10] An hour dissociating in the shower
[03:56.96] Trying to wash away the taste
[03:59.09] Trying to wash away the scent
[04:01.37] Of your cyprine still plastered in my mouth
[04:04.79] Of your saliva stuck inside my throat
[04:07.34] Trying to rip my skin off again
[04:09.60] 'cause I can still feel your hands
[04:12.51] Grappling on my neck
[04:15.09] And I scratch my skin
[04:17.61] Again and again
[04:20.32] But it won't come off
[04:25.60] What is left of me
[04:30.84] If you already gnawed my soul?
[04:35.95] I wish I could have talked to that kid
[04:40.80] Who was so insecure
[04:43.32] And tell him
[04:46.64]
[04:59.33] Becca told me that it gets better
[05:02.46] That the wound will seal after some time
[05:05.72] But every time it seems over
[05:08.76] It comes back and puts me down
[05:12.11] Do You still talk to some of my friends?
[05:15.09] And poison them with twisted claims?
[05:18.25] Do you still tell them I'm a liar?
[05:21.88] Did you really ever change
[05:25.19] Sometimes I make noises
[05:28.05] To silence the thoughts
[05:30.64] I keep making excuses
[05:34.04] So I hardly ever leave my home
[05:37.94] You can keep denying it was rape
[05:41.14] You can phrase it in other ways
[05:44.18] In the end it's still the same
[05:47.44] You stole my body and my innocence
[05:50.71] When I walk down the avenue
[05:53.77] Suddenly everyone looks like you
[05:57.82] I collapse in the middle of the street
[06:00.62] And choke in my own tears
[06:03.64] I know you left a shirt at my place
[06:06.86] And I can't even touch it
[06:10.07] Becca wanted to set it ablaze
[06:12.99] And I liked the idea
[06:16.48] But I know it doesn't make sense
[06:19.42] 'cause you'll come back anyway
[06:22.02] Either a thought or a pointless object
[06:25.08] You never leave completely
[06:29.09]
[06:54.78] Now, is the pain gonna leave?
[06:58.70] I don't know, we will see
[07:01.90] Will I still have nightmares in 10 years?
[07:05.36] I try my best not to care
[07:08.03] I'd rather live with the trauma
[07:10.66] Than die with it unresolved
[07:14.02] I'll pick myself up and clean my room
[07:17.95] And find a way without you
[07:21.84]
[07:33.55] I'll find a way out
[07:46.08] I'll find a way out
[07:59.57] I'll find a way out
[08:15.06] I'm gonna try to move on
[08:19.37] And call the ones I love
[08:24.66] And if I have to listen to my own words
[08:29.62] To convince myself
[08:33.12] I'll do it again and again
[08:37.95] I know it'll take time
[08:41.14] But it'll leave after a while
[08:45.08] I'll find a way out
[08:49.05] A way out your hands
[09:09.04]
[00:06.72] I thought I saw you
[00:09.97] In the corner of my room
[00:15.06] Took me a while to realize
[00:17.64] That you weren't really there
[00:19.96] My mind thinks you'll come back
[00:22.91] And I'd better be prepared
[00:25.66] Putting a foot on the floor
[00:28.08] I haven't cleaned my room
[00:31.36] Layers of trash and mold
[00:33.45] I can hardly walk
[00:36.13] Poured water in a kettle
[00:41.14] Antidepressants and alcohol
[00:46.40] Instant coffee and diet coke
[00:51.78] All mixed up in my blood
[00:56.94] What is left of me
[01:02.29] If you already gnawed my soul?
[01:07.43] I wish I could have talked to that kid
[01:12.59] Who was so insecure
[01:14.71] And tell him
[01:17.76] "You don't deserve this"
[01:59.45] I try my best to pass the time
[02:02.06] I try to write but nothing comes out
[02:04.82] And when it does in any way
[02:07.15] It's in phrases that don't make sense
[02:10.14] I keep reading everywhere
[02:12.22] That this pain will never leave
[02:14.44] She's here and here to stay
[02:17.30] She's now a part of me
[02:20.40] I can hardly step outside
[02:23.11] I keep seeing you in the corner of my eye
[02:26.12] You've got all the keys to ruin my life
[02:29.23] Even more than you've already had
[02:31.49] You've stolen my confidence
[02:33.68] You've stolen my innocence
[02:35.97] I like to think you did it by accident
[02:41.35] What is left of me
[02:46.50] If you already gnawed my soul?
[02:51.63] I wish I could have talked to that kid
[02:56.44] Who was so insecure
[02:58.96] And tell him
[03:02.19] "You don't deserve this"
[03:23.18] I took a train and looked at the stops
[03:25.60] And I saw the city you lived in
[03:28.09] My vision tunneled, I lost my breath
[03:30.96] A trimester of pain flashed back
[03:33.64] Unbearable spasms of anguish are now routine
[03:40.09] Panic attacks are happening daily
[03:44.79] Alone on a mattress twitching in pain
[03:48.83] Waiting for the breakdown to end
[03:54.10] An hour dissociating in the shower
[03:56.96] Trying to wash away the taste
[03:59.09] Trying to wash away the scent
[04:01.37] Of your cyprine still plastered in my mouth
[04:04.79] Of your saliva stuck inside my throat
[04:07.34] Trying to rip my skin off again
[04:09.60] 'cause I can still feel your hands
[04:12.51] Grappling on my neck
[04:15.09] And I scratch my skin
[04:17.61] Again and again
[04:20.32] But it won't come off
[04:25.60] What is left of me
[04:30.84] If you already gnawed my soul?
[04:35.95] I wish I could have talked to that kid
[04:40.80] Who was so insecure
[04:43.32] And tell him
[04:46.64]
[04:59.33] Becca told me that it gets better
[05:02.46] That the wound will seal after some time
[05:05.72] But every time it seems over
[05:08.76] It comes back and puts me down
[05:12.11] Do You still talk to some of my friends?
[05:15.09] And poison them with twisted claims?
[05:18.25] Do you still tell them I'm a liar?
[05:21.88] Did you really ever change
[05:25.19] Sometimes I make noises
[05:28.05] To silence the thoughts
[05:30.64] I keep making excuses
[05:34.04] So I hardly ever leave my home
[05:37.94] You can keep denying it was rape
[05:41.14] You can phrase it in other ways
[05:44.18] In the end it's still the same
[05:47.44] You stole my body and my innocence
[05:50.71] When I walk down the avenue
[05:53.77] Suddenly everyone looks like you
[05:57.82] I collapse in the middle of the street
[06:00.62] And choke in my own tears
[06:03.64] I know you left a shirt at my place
[06:06.86] And I can't even touch it
[06:10.07] Becca wanted to set it ablaze
[06:12.99] And I liked the idea
[06:16.48] But I know it doesn't make sense
[06:19.42] 'cause you'll come back anyway
[06:22.02] Either a thought or a pointless object
[06:25.08] You never leave completely
[06:29.09]
[06:54.78] Now, is the pain gonna leave?
[06:58.70] I don't know, we will see
[07:01.90] Will I still have nightmares in 10 years?
[07:05.36] I try my best not to care
[07:08.03] I'd rather live with the trauma
[07:10.66] Than die with it unresolved
[07:14.02] I'll pick myself up and clean my room
[07:17.95] And find a way without you
[07:21.84]
[07:33.55] I'll find a way out
[07:46.08] I'll find a way out
[07:59.57] I'll find a way out
[08:15.06] I'm gonna try to move on
[08:19.37] And call the ones I love
[08:24.66] And if I have to listen to my own words
[08:29.62] To convince myself
[08:33.12] I'll do it again and again
[08:37.95] I know it'll take time
[08:41.14] But it'll leave after a while
[08:45.08] I'll find a way out
[08:49.05] A way out your hands
[09:09.04]