Suck A Bag Of Dicks

[00:00.25] Hey this is interesting
[00:01.00] The other day a guy told me to suck a bag of dicks
[00:03.93] That was interesting, I never heard that before
[00:06.04] Total stranger told me to suck a bag of dicks
[00:11.86] Whole bag of 'em
[00:18.19] He was angry, he didn't just you know, suck a bag of dicks, like a greeting
[00:20.98] Oh suck a bag of dicks to you too sir thank you very much
[00:25.70] You know it's a lovely day for sucking several bags of dicks
[00:34.20] Now what happened was that I cut him off in traffic
[00:36.27] Because it's one of things where I just I had to get in and no one was in my car to judge me
[00:41.24] And I just fucking you know
[00:42.59] I just decided, he's not me so I don't care what happens to him
[00:46.29] And I just put him off and it was a shitty thing to do
[00:48.93] And he was back 'cause he was coming fast
[00:52.20] 'Cause he didn't imagine in a million years could be that big of an asshole
[00:55.26] And so I did it, he had to slam on his brake
[00:58.19] And his dog went pfft in the windshield
[01:00.37] It was really very bad, very bad
[01:05.50] And the worst part is when you call people out
[01:07.04] They don't vanish, they are behind you now so
[01:09.40] Looking back and his like fucking asshole
[01:11.21] He's so mad and he keeps trying to get next to me
[01:14.39] 'Cause he just wants to see my fucking face
[01:16.91] He just dying, he's like I gotta see this cocksucker now
[01:18.12] I gotta see the fucking face of the piece of shit that did that to me
[01:21.30] And I keep cutting him off, 'cause I don't want him to see
[01:23.33] I'm ashamed of what I did
[01:25.95] No, nope you don't
[01:29.40] Finally we got to a red light and I gotta face him
[01:33.02] Only 'cause there was a car in front of me, otherwise I'd have fucking blown right through there
[01:38.12] But there is, just fucking furious
[01:41.55] And I'm there like I know it was awful
[01:42.62] I shouldn't have done that
[01:45.06] Yeah I'm not mad, I was wrong
[01:45.80] Why would I be mad
[01:47.39] And he's like, fuck you
[01:49.05] And he starts going like this 'cause he wants me to roll my window down like
[01:52.08] I'm supposed to take part in my own abuse during this argument
[01:55.59] You know, well I'm sorry, I don't wanna miss this
[01:58.25] What do you have to say about me yes
[02:02.14] How rude of me to shut out your anger with my
[02:04.34] So I did, I rolled it down, I'm interested
[02:08.65] And he goes, hey asshole
[02:11.14] And I'm like yeah
[02:13.28] He said suck a bag of dicks
[02:23.04] And then he drove away
[02:26.12] And I was kinda sad that he drove away
[02:27.88] Because I had a lot of questions
[02:33.92] That concept of sucking a bag of dicks
[02:36.22] It's just weird
[02:37.84] Like first of all when you picture a bag of dicks
[02:41.47] What do you see when you picture a bag of dicks?
[02:44.57] Is it like a plastic bag and they're all mushing together like chicken parts
[02:48.49] We got a date written on it with sharpie
[02:51.08] Keep it in the freezer
[02:54.52] Or is it like a paper bag in there sticking all like bagels
[02:56.52] Kinda like you went shopping
[03:01.38] Bringing home a bag of dicks for the kids
[03:05.18] Here you go Suzy, take a blue one
[03:07.50] You can keep it right there hanging in the window somewhere
[03:12.10] Give me two of those
[03:17.86] And how do you suck a bag of dicks
[03:19.33] What does he want me to do
[03:20.56] Does he want me to take a bag of dicks and suck it
[03:22.22] Like suck the side of the bag or does he want me to open the bag
[03:26.45] And suck each dick individually
[03:28.35] And throw the used ones in a bowl like in a mermaid shell, like that
[03:40.38] So I have to make them all cum
[03:41.77] You know like how
[03:48.96] I don't know I never even sucked one dick
[03:49.77] So it's not an area that I understand
[03:51.26] I've never sucked a dick
[03:53.02] Isn't that weird?
[03:54.81] I've never sucked a dick, my whole life
[03:57.05] That's weird to me, it is, it's weird
[04:01.94] Because almost everybody has sucked a dick
[04:05.88] When you think about it
[04:07.15] Most people on earth suck dicks, it's true
[04:08.79] Because fifty one percent of the population are women and they suck dicks
[04:11.92] And there's all the gay guys that suck dicks
[04:13.28] Then there's all the straight guys who have been forced to suck a dick under various circumstances
[04:19.43] So what if there's only like a thousand of us out there
[04:22.18] Who never blew anyone
[04:27.15] Just a bunch of selfish assholes that are fucking getting blown
[04:30.13] And not blowing back you know
[04:34.47] It's like that's what people do, we all fucking suck dicks
[04:36.78] You know I haven't done it
[04:38.55] And I don't have like a big reason not to either
[04:41.46] I don't have a policy against sucking a dick
[04:43.86] It's not something I'm against doing
[04:45.45] I just have never seen a dick I wanted to suck
[04:48.56] That's really what it comes down to
[04:50.53] I've never seen a penis that inspired me to suck it
[04:53.10] Every dick I've ever seen has bumped me out
[04:55.23] I hate 'em, I hate 'em
[04:58.55] They ruin my day when I see 'em
[04:59.54] But that's just so far
[05:03.58] I mean how the fuck do I know
[05:04.43] There might be, this guy right here might have a beautiful dick
[05:06.92] This guy, if I saw his dick
[05:10.14] I might go, aw fuck that shit's going into my mouth right now
[05:12.00] And I just fucking, and I'd have to blown him
[05:16.88] Fucking hold him down and blow him
[05:18.97] That's the kind of, I would be like rape blow people
[05:20.92] That's what I like, hold the guy down and blow him
[05:23.03] Despite him, that's the kind of shit I would do, just to you know
[05:29.92] I'm just saying, I'm not prejudice
[05:30.61] I haven't seen that many, there's billions
[05:32.59] Literally billions of dicks in the world
[05:34.61] And I've seen like forty at the most
[05:36.13] So how the fuck would I know
[05:37.77] Well is that too many
[05:39.15] I think, yeah that's too many right
[05:40.62] Forty, Jesus Christ
[05:42.72] Not even thirty nine
[05:45.88] That's a dick a year, plus another one
[05:47.19] Why am I say forty
[05:48.70] That's a lot
[05:51.13] That's like two bags of dicks right there
[05:53.76] At least forty dicks, right
[05:59.86] I never understood people judging people for the way they have sex
[06:02.89] Some people get angry at homosexual
[06:04.22] Just for being gay, they get mad at them argh!
[06:06.98] I never really understood that
[06:08.38] You like, because they're just having sex with each other
[06:10.86] Like I can understand if gay people were just running out in the street
[06:12.73] Just fucking people in the ass willy nilly
[06:14.23] Just like a pestilence
[06:16.94] Like without asking, you know
[06:18.37] Like you're at the ATM, hey what the fuck
[06:20.95] God damnit, some faggot just fucked me right in the ass seriously
[06:27.69] Fucking right through my pants
[06:29.08] He fucking ruined my new pants
[06:29.63] Just fucking bullshit
[06:33.76] Another one God damnit, I gotta get the fuck home
[06:34.50] This is ridiculous
[06:42.07] But they generally don't that, so I don't know what the fucking problem is
[06:46.58] People get mad, they don't wanna
[06:47.91] Don't get married, well you don't have to go to the wedding
[06:50.07] What the fuck, you don't have to buying 'em anything
[06:51.90] It doesn't matter
[06:52.65] Some people go like well then our guy will marry his dog
[06:54.54] Good, fuck then I hope he blows his dog
[06:57.05] Who gives a shit, it doesn't matter
[07:00.37] It doesn't have any effect on your life, why the fuck do you care
[07:03.77] Or people that they to think they talk about, they think is a social issue
[07:06.34] Like when you saw someone stand up on a talkshow
[07:09.47] And say like, how am I supposed to explain to my child
[07:11.37] That's two men are getting married
[07:14.88] I don't know it's your shitty kid, you fucking tell 'em
[07:17.03] Why is that anyone else's problems
[07:20.63] Two guys are in love but they can't get married
[07:21.88] 'Cause you don't wanna talk to your ugly child
[07:23.66] For fucking five minutes
[07:26.32] Fucking cares about your shitty kid
[07:28.27] He's probably a faggot anyway
[07:31.92] How stupid is that alright, stupid
[07:42.06] I don't know, the only thing that about me up
[07:45.70] Is that you're not supposed to laugh at gay people when they're funny
[07:47.47] 'Cause sometimes they just, oh they're funny
[07:50.43] Like I lived in New York for a lot of my life
[07:52.66] And in my neighborhood everybody was gay
[07:53.66] And you know some guys are just a guy walking down the street
[07:56.11] But some gay guys are a guy in little short
[07:57.29] And a half shirt and you know combat boots
[08:01.63] Spray pants, green and whistle
[08:04.72] And he's standing in the corner like hello fucking hot fudge
[08:08.87] That's not a stereotype, those guys fucking exist like a thousands
[08:13.32] And when I see them I laugh really loud
[08:15.33] I just do, people be like don't laugh at him 'cause he's gay
[08:19.54] No I'm not, I'm laughing 'cause he's fucking weird and silly
[08:22.83] He's hilarious
[08:26.49] How am I supposed to react, hello
[08:28.89] Hello yes seriousness is yes
[08:37.09] It's stupid
[08:38.76]