Master of the House

[00:05.91] Welcome, Monsieur, sit yourself down
[00:09.13] And meet the best innkeeper in town
[00:14.52] As for the rest, all of 'em crooks
[00:18.13] Rooking their guests and crooking the books
[00:22.61] Seldom do you see
[00:26.34] Honest men like me
[00:29.48] A gent of good intent
[00:32.20] Who's content to be
[00:35.88] Master of the house, doling out the charm
[00:40.38] Ready with a handshake and an open palm
[00:43.85] Tells a saucy tale, makes a little stir
[00:47.54] Customers appreciate a bon-viveur
[00:50.29] Glad to do a friend a favor
[00:54.54] Doesn't cost me to be nice
[00:56.31] But nothing gets you nothing
[00:59.19] Everything has got a little price
[01:03.65] Master of the house, keeper of the zoo
[01:07.23] Ready to relieve 'em of a sou or two
[01:09.92] Watering the wine, making up the weight
[01:13.54] Pickin' up their knick-knacks when they can't see straight
[01:17.28] Everybody loves a landlord
[01:19.95] Everybody's bosom friend
[01:23.58] I do whatever pleases
[01:25.34] Jesus! Won't I bleed 'em in the end
[01:28.04] Master of the house, quick to catch yer eye
[01:31.79] Never wants a passerby to pass him by
[01:35.39] Servant to the poor, butler to the great
[01:38.05] Comforter, philosopher, and lifelong mate
[01:41.64] Everybody's boon companion
[01:44.31] Everybody's chaperone
[01:47.03] Thenardier: But lock up your valises
[01:49.76] Jesus! Won't I skin you to the bone
[01:55.25] Enter Monsieur, lay down your load
[01:59.75] Unlace your boots, rest from the road
[02:04.20] This weighs a ton, travel's a curse
[02:07.86] But here we strive to lighten your purse
[02:13.20] Here the goose is cooked
[02:16.09] Here the fat is fried
[02:19.66] And nothing's overlooked
[02:22.38] Till I'm satisfied
[02:25.97] Food beyond compare, Food beyond belief
[02:29.52] Mix it in a mincer and pretend it's beef
[02:33.12] Kidney of a horse, liver of a cat
[02:36.77] Filling up the sausages with this and that
[02:40.46] Residents are more than welcome
[02:43.14] Bridal suite is occupied
[02:45.86] Reasonable charges
[02:48.51] Plus some little extras on the side
[02:52.16] Charge 'em for the lice, extra for the mice
[02:55.78] Two percent for looking in the mirror twice
[02:59.46] Here a little slice, there a little cut
[03:03.05] Three percent for sleeping with the window shut
[03:05.73] When it comes to fixing prices
[03:09.34] There are a lot of tricks he knows
[03:12.00] How it all increases, all them bits and pieces
[03:15.78] Jesus! It's amazing how it grows
[03:18.44] Thenardier & Master of the house, quick to catch yer eye
[03:22.59] Never wants a passerby to pass him by
[03:25.43] Servant to the poor, butler to the great
[03:28.18] Comforter, philosopher, and lifelong mate
[03:31.71] Everybody's boon companion
[03:34.46] Gives 'em everything he's got
[03:38.05] Thenardier: Dirty bunch of geezers
[03:39.86] Jesus! What a sorry little lot
[03:43.42] Mme. Thenardier
[03:46.15] I used to dream that I would meet a prince
[03:49.83] But God Almighty, have you seen what's happened since?
[03:54.32] Master of the house? Isn't worth me spit
[03:58.84] 'Comforter, philosopher' and lifelong shit
[04:02.40] Cunning little brain, regular Voltaire
[04:05.10] Thinks he's quite a lover but there's not much there
[04:08.81] What a cruel trick of nature landed me with such a louse
[04:15.12] God knows how I've lasted living with this bastard in the house
[04:19.63] Thenardier & Drinkers: Master of the house
[04:21.60] Mme. Thenardier: Master and a half
[04:23.38] Comforter, philosopher
[04:25.17] Mme. Thenardier: Ah, don't make me laugh
[04:27.06] Servant to the poor, butler to the great
[04:29.60] Hypocrite and toady and inebriate
[04:33.23] Everybody bless the landlord
[04:36.84] Everybody bless his spouse
[04:39.66] Everybody raise a glass
[04:42.39] Raise it up the master's arse
[04:45.08] Everybody raise a glass to the Master of the House
[04:51.41]