Night Diving

I had a vision last night
Night diving in Monterey
That water on my skin
It washed my shame away
And I've been sipping on poison
Even on the days I taste it
Run into the same wall
All because I just can't face it
And I'm tired of running from the conversations
Screaming in the silence all alone
And I miss the innocence that it has taken
Oh, I'm frustrated, I can't take it, but I'll fake it
Then I'll hate myself again
I had a vision last night
Horses on the granite plains
That sound of freedom stampeding
Why can't I feel the same?
And I've been sleeping wide awake
Slow dancing 'round the cracks in the floorboards
Fighting myself while lying in a bed
I made and can't ignore
And I'm tired of running from the conversation
Screaming in the silence all alone
And I miss the innocence that it has taken
Oh, I'm frustrated, I can't take it, but I'll fake it
Then I'll hate myself again
Oh, I'm frustrated, I can't take it, but I'll fake it
Then I'll hate myself
I'm bleeding I can't breathe in
And I'm tearing at the seams
Oh, I'm so scared that I won't make it out
I'll let you down
And I'll hate myself again