Don't Know How To Feel

[00:20.72] They say they love me
[00:21.52] But based on how I perceive it
[00:23.30] The sad thing is I never truly believed it
[00:25.69] I got a question
[00:26.46] Is it based off achievement?
[00:28.16] Cause I remember them nights I spent alone
[00:30.54] They said it's lonely at the top and I believe it
[00:33.11] Cause when you make it to the top they want a loan
[00:35.67] So the money probably makes a happy family
[00:38.11] But the money don't equal a happy home
[00:40.42] The compliments don't even matter no more
[00:43.04] Be honest I ain't even flattered no more
[00:45.44] Cause I don't even know what's real no more
[00:48.01] I don't even know how to feel no more
[00:53.05] I don't even know how to feel no more
[00:57.98] I don't even know how to
[00:59.53] Deal with this new perception of my successes
[01:02.16] See me out in New York
[01:03.35] See me out Texas
[01:04.49] See me as a superstar
[01:05.62] See me as a rapper
[01:06.96] See me as their inspiration
[01:08.27] See me as a pastor
[01:09.45] See me as a innovator
[01:10.77] See me as a leader
[01:11.91] See me as a light
[01:12.97] Or the voice of the people
[01:14.33] Seeing me as everything else except human
[01:16.60] They'll trade our relationship for my influence
[01:19.77] I never do complain when they take more
[01:21.85] I convinced myself that this what comes with all I prayed for
[01:24.52] I just keep my mouth shut and then I face forward
[01:27.00] Cause the jobs with the most stress pay more
[01:29.35] And the ones that get the most rest pay for it
[01:31.71] I'd rather be the one to give than have to scrape for it
[01:34.57] But lending out too much leave the same void
[01:36.91] And they keeping all receipts
[01:38.16] That way you can't ignore it
[01:39.88] The compliments don't even matter no more
[01:42.49] Be honest I ain't even flattered no more
[01:44.77] Cause I don't even know what's real no more
[01:47.40] I don't even know how to feel no more
[01:52.43] I don't even know how to feel no more
[01:57.51] I don't even know how to
[02:19.11] Too many guilt trips
[02:20.28] I need a vacation
[02:21.50] Phone off, passport, and a beach resort
[02:24.15] Instead they always leave me feeling out of place
[02:26.45] Only thing I do resort to is my own remorse
[02:28.85] But they only check in when the checks in
[02:31.05] Old friends turn to dead ends when the check end
[02:33.88] These the type of problems I just gotta face alone
[02:36.02] That's why I'm keeping to myself and rather stay at home
[02:39.32] And now I'm conscious of the burdens I been taking on
[02:41.73] Cause people drain you for their gain and then they send you on
[02:44.18] The giving is good
[02:45.93] The problem is that I don't hesitate
[02:46.60] Even when it compromise a healthy living state
[02:49.12] I'll drag us all to the win
[02:50.43] But it's a heavy weight
[02:51.68] To be the one to build the table and to fix the plates
[02:54.07] I talk to God cause he the only one could lift me up
[02:56.45] Cause for some reason doing good ain't never good enough
[02:59.09] They say they love me
[02:59.93] But based on how I perceived it
[03:01.47] The sad thing is I never truly believe it
[03:04.06] I got a question
[03:04.85] Is it based off achievement?
[03:06.43] Cause I remember them nights I spent alone
[03:08.95] They said it's lonely at the top and I believe it
[03:11.44] Cause when you make it to the top they want a loan
[03:13.90] So the money probably makes a happy family
[03:16.56] But the money don't equal a happy home
[03:19.27] The compliments don't even matter no more
[03:21.31] Be honest I ain't even flattered no more
[03:23.88] Cause I don't even know what's real no more
[03:26.55] I don't even know how to feel no more
[03:31.41] I don't even know how to feel no more
[03:36.33] I don't even know how to
[03:37.41]