Making Things Up Again

And lo, the Lord said unto the Nephites:
"I know you're really depressed, what with all your...
AIDS... and everything... but there is an answer in Christ."
You see? This book CAN help us!

I just told a lie
No, wait, I didn't lie
I just used my imagination
And it worked!

You're making things up again, Arnold
But it worked, Dad!

You're stretching the truth again
And you know it

Don't be a Fibbing Fran, Arnold
Joseph Smith...?
Because a lie is a lie
It's not a lie!
You're making things up again, Arnold
Oh, conscience!
You're taking the holy word
And adding fiction!
Be careful how you proceed, Arnold
When you fib, there's a price
Ehh, this it bullshit!
The story I have been told is that the way to cure AIDS is
by sleeping with a virgin! I'm going to go and rape a baby!
What?! Oh my-NO! You can't do that! NO!
Why not?
Because that is DEFINITELY against God's will!
Says who? Where in that book of yours does it say
anything about sleeping with a baby, huh? Nowhere!
Uhhhh, behold! The Lord said to the Mormon prophet Joseph Smith "You
SHALL NOT have sex with that infant!" LO! Joseph said: "Why not,
Lord? Huh? Why not?" And the Lord said,
"If you lay with an infant,
you shall... burn in the fiery pits of Mordor!"
Really?
Uh-huh... Uh-huh! "A baby cannot cure your illness, Joseph Smith.
I shall give unto you... a frog!" And thus:
Joseph laid with the frog, and his AIDS was no more!
Ohhhhh!
You're making things up again, Arnold
You're recklessly warping
The words of Jesus!

You can't just say what you want, Arnold!
Come, on, Hobbits!

You're digging yourself a deep hole!

I'm making things up again, kinda
But this time, it's helping
A dozen people
It's nothing so bad because this time
I'm not committing a sin
Just by making things up again, right?

NO!
Elder Cunningham, you have to stop him!
What? What is it?
Gotswana is going to cut off his daughter's clitoris!
Huh?
This is all very interesting.
But women have to be circumcised if that's what the General wants!
No, no, doing that to a lady is definitely against Christ's will!
How do you know? Christ never said NOTHIN' 'bout no clitoris!
YES! YES HE DID! In ancient New York,
three men were about to cut off a Mormon woman's... clitoris.
But... right before they did,
Jesus had... BOBA FETT turn 'em into FROGS!
Frogs?
You mean like the frogs that got fucked by Joseph Smith?
Right! Right! Like THOSE frogs!
For a clitoris is holy amongst ALL things, said he!
You're making things up again, Arnold

We're learning the truth!
You're taking the holy word
And adding fiction!

The truth about God!
Be careful how you proceed, Arnold
When you fib, there's a price!

We're going to paradise!

Who would have thought
I'd have this magic touch?
Who'd have believed I could
Man up this much?
I'm talking, they're listening
My stories are glistening
I'm gonna save them all
With this stuff!

Ooooh- La
You're making things up again, Arnold

Elder Cunningham!
You're making things up again, Arnold

Holy prophet man!
You're making things up again, Arnold

Our savior!

You're making things up again

Hmmm, up again, making things, you are

Arnold